Into the New Year

We know that many of you continue to pray for Phoebe and the family, for which we are extremely thankful.  Although we have celebrated the end of her treatment, life does not just go back to the carefree pre-cancer days of last year and we will all need your ongoing support as we enter this new year.

Phoebe has continued to eat better and her energy levels are slowly improving.  She is still quite unsteady on her feet, something which we hope will get better when she is able to start physiotherapy and hydrotherapy – it would be great if that is sooner rather than later!  She recently had a chest infection and was unfortunately allergic to the anti-biotics, not something that was an issue before.  Her skin became very red and itchy and one evening Matt & Rachel resorted to giving her cold bath of oatmeal, just like they had to do for her in hospital.  We had thought those days were behind her.

Some of Phoebe’s hair is growing back, but it is patchy; it seems that the large bald patch on the back of her head (where the radiotherapy was directed at the site of the tumour) is going to be permanent.

A visit to Millhouses Park

We have spent a very happy couple of days together over Christmas; we can’t say how thankful we are that she was not only with us to celebrate the coming of Jesus into the world as a baby, but that she could enter into it all with enthusiasm – being an angel in the school nativity, enjoying a pantomime at school, having family and friends visiting at home.

She will continue with part-time attendance at school as the new term begins, and of course there will be clinics and check-ups for a long time ahead.  On 30^th December she will be 6 years old (and hopes to celebrate by going swimming!) and on 4^th January Reuben will be 4.  What a lot they have both had to contend with in this past year!


Marcus and Jen
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Yet, we also know that our journey with Phoebe is being repeated again and again in other families around the world, and that other people and situations may be your current focus and concern. If you no longer wish to receive these updates, simply click on the 'unsubscribe now' link at the foot of this email. Thank you.

Rejoice with us! - and our own dancing show

The Bible teaches us to 'weep with those who weep' and to 'rejoice with those who rejoice'! We are so thankful for those who have wept with us this year, and now hope you will also rejoice with us!

Phoebe has now been home for eight weeks! In this time she has continued to make slow but steady progress in her return to normal life.  Her previous almost non-existent appetite has grown so that she is now having small meals plus snacks, and even saying “I’m hungry”!  After having to coax her to try even part of a biscuit before, this is a really encouraging step forward.  A couple of weeks ago her nasal tube came out (when she vomited) and Rachel and Matt decided to see how she managed without the overnight feeds.  It was lovely to see her face free of a tube and plasters keeping it in place!

Her latest MRI scan showed no new cancer growth in either her brain or spine, much to our obvious relief.  Of course she will continue to be monitored for a long while to come, with her next check up due in early January.

Her attendance at school every other day continues; she is managing two hours each time at the moment.  Today (Monday 30th) is another red-letter day as she was back in hospital under anaesthetic, to have her broviac line (in her chest for administration of drugs) removed.  She came home delighted to be without it, as once the wound heals she will be able to go swimming and to have deep baths!

Saturday was a wonderful joyous day - Phoebe's 'End of Treatment' party!  Rachel and Matt invited the many, many people who have supported them during this most difficult period of their lives, to come and celebrate the end of Phoebe’s treatment.  Phoebe asked to stay up late, dance and eat marshmallows, and between 200 and 300 people came along to do just that!  (We did eat a few other things too!)  The dance studio where the party was held laid on a surprise for Phoebe – two professional dancers demonstrating various dances for about 10 minutes.  Phoebe was thrilled.  Friends travelled over from Spain, friends and family came from far and wide in the UK, and of course lots of local friends were there.  Matt made a very moving speech thanking people for their support and speaking of how Phoebe’s, Rachel’s and his faith had grown during their severe trial.

We too feel that our faith has become more precious to us during these months as we have had to lean on the Lord more than ever, for physical, mental, emotional and spiritual strength.  It has been humbling to know that so many have been praying for us, as well as sending gifts, making meals and encouraging us in so many ways.  
THANK YOU ALL!


Marcus and Jen
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Yet, we also know that our journey with Phoebe is being repeated again and again in other families around the world, and that other people and situations may be your current focus and concern. If you no longer wish to receive these updates, simply click on the 'unsubscribe now' link at the foot of this email. Thank you.

Phoebe's trip to see 'Strictly'

Life has changed a lot for us since Phoebe returned home from hospital.  Matt and Rachel carry huge responsibility caring for Phoebe, deciding when to put feeds in her tube, when to give her painkillers, how much to expect of her in terms of energy and behaviour.  This week Matt returns to work after months of sharing equally in Phoebe’s care, whereas now much more will fall to Rachel.  Jen still goes to help out when asked, but not every day as before, as Rachel is keen for family life to return to as near normal as possible.

Phoebe has started a phased return to school; she attends until 10.10am on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.  She is still quite frail and tires easily so has an afternoon nap every day.  We are hoping that slowly she will build up enough strength to stay longer at school, with Tuesdays and Thursdays as rest days for some time to come.

A couple of weeks ago Jen had a lovely break at her sister Valerie’s, a few days with nothing to do but rest, read, play the piano and enjoy delicious meals!  It was well timed as the emotion of the previous months was suddenly taking its toll and tiredness and tears were not far away.

Rachel and Phoebe

Phoebe with her 'Strictly' stickers

A little while ago Matt asked on Twitter if anyone knew how to get tickets for Strictly Come Dancing as a treat for Phoebe, who loves watching “the dancing show”.  The message reached the BBC who supplied tickets for Phoebe, Rachel and Jen to attend a recording of the Children in Need special and the dress rehearsal for the live show last Saturday.  We stayed overnight on Friday with dear friends from our old church in Stevenage, put on our posh frocks and went along in the pouring rain to enjoy the show.  There was a lot of waiting around which Phoebe coped with really well, and then front row seats opposite the judges’ desk!  Jen hadn’t been following “Strictly” but the whole experience was great fun and it was wonderful to see Phoebe smiling throughout!  Several of the dancers and “celebrities” came over to chat with Phoebe and other children in wheelchairs.
We are not under the illusion that a treat like this in any way makes up for the months of suffering that Phoebe has undergone, or that our family “deserves” a treat to recompense us for our difficult year.  But it was great for the three of us to have fun together and the photos will remind us of our day in the bright lights!

We are so grateful that you have been following us in this journey with Phoebe, and thank you for all your prayers. Please keep praying.
Many thanks
Marcus ans Jen
_____________________________________________________________

Yet, we also know that our journey with Phoebe is being repeated again and again in other families around the world, and that other people and situations may be your current focus and concern. If you no longer wish to receive these updates, simply click on the 'unsubscribe now' link at the foot of this email. Thank you.

The challenges continue!

It’s been a joy this week to have our son Jon, with Heather and Rosanne, stay with us (as it is half term in Scottish schools).  They have provided our main meals, cheerful company and even a companion for Bramble with their foster dog Mika!  Rosanne is always so kind to her younger cousins and they love playing with her.  They even went to McDonalds for breakfast one morning! 

But life is nonetheless not easy for the whole family as we adjust to this new phase.  We all feel tired and emotional – the tensions and stresses of the preceding months are taking their toll.  The simplest way to put you in the picture is to quote Matt’s latest Facebook update:

It's been over a week since Phoebe was discharged & while it is lovely to be home together, life unexpectedly feels more difficult than it did in hospital. Without the support of medical staff we are always thinking about fluid targets, NG feeds, medication, physio, sickness, rest time etc. Phoebe's body needs huge amounts of energy to heal up and recover after all the damage caused by chemotherapy and radiotherapy, so there is little energy leftover for normal daily activity. It is very difficult to know what our new 'normal' is or should be.

Both kids are having to re-adjust to life home together, lots of tears and difficult moments for each of them as they have to share our attention with each other and all the responsibilities that come with running a home. In hospital we could focus solely on Phoebe but at home that simply isn't possible and it's a steep learning curve for her. We feel we can't give Phoebe or Reuben every bit of attention they crave & that's difficult because they are both extremely needy emotionally right now.

The constant weight of living with cancer seems to taint all we do and it's exhausting. We fight for joy but it is a real fight and doesn't come easily. We look to the promises we have in Jesus and long for them to come soon.

Please pray for:
- physical & emotional rest, as we are all exhausted from broken sleep, colds and the constant weight of living with cancer.
- Phoebe that her stamina, strength & appetite will quickly return.
- Reuben as he battles behavioural issues.

As always, big hugs y'all! Xx

We are so grateful that you have been following us in this journey with Phoebe, and thank you for all your prayers. Please keep praying.
Many thanks
Marcus ans Jen
_____________________________________________________________

Yet, we also know that our journey with Phoebe is being repeated again and again in other families around the world, and that other people and situations make be your current focus and concern. If you no longer wish to receive these updates, simply click on the 'unsubscribe now' link at the foot of this email. Thank you.

Home at last!!!

'Day release' is now 'Home again!!'

About an hour ago Matt wrote the following on the #PrayForPhoebe Facebook group:

"9 months and 1 day ago we went into hospital with Phoebe not knowing the heartache, pain and struggle we had ahead of us. Today, Phoebe was released from the hospital to come home for good! While treatment didn't go as smoothly as it could have, it went almost as fast as it could have.

We aren't finished on this journey as there will still be many hospital visits, MRIs, check ups etc but the intensive period of this process is over. Now, our attention switches from surviving to healing up. Phoebe's body is broken, battered and damaged and will take a long time for her health to be restored and some things simply won't heal.

Your prayers and the Lord's faithfulness have been pivotal to our endurance, strength and joy. Thank you. We love Jesus now more than ever and pray that all of our friends and family would come to love him too.

As we transition please pray for:

• Phoebe as she continues to heal.
• Wisdom as we think about how to begin Phoebe's transition back into school.
• Phoebe to get back to eating and drinking and wisdom to decide when to take out her NG tube.
• Our whole family as we begin to adapt to our life back home together.
• Reuben as he must learn again he isn't King of the castle! This is likely to be the cause of many future fights between him and Phoebe.
• For the cancer to never return."

We (Jen and Marcus) join Rachel and Matt in thanking you for your prayers and many practical kindnesses. You have helped us through this ordeal, but most of all we thank God!

Day after the tumour removed

After radiotherapy completed

Chemo complete!

Getting there

Phoebe's day release

It’s great to be able to report that Phoebe has completed her last round of chemo, her blood count is up and she is out of isolation.  Hallelujah!  So there are now short trips to the museum or park opposite the hospital, and more visitors allowed to pop in to her room and help her pass the time.  Yesterday she was on “day release” and enjoyed being home for a while, and she was able to come to church this morning.  When they arrived, Reuben ran up to Jen with a delighted “look, Phoebe’s here”!

Her gut and stomach lining have been damaged by the chemo drugs and this is why she can’t yet go home full time.  Her pain relief needs to be carefully monitored and we are hoping and praying that she will gradually be able to increase the tiny amounts of food she consumes so that she will at last be free of the nasal tube.

It will take a long time for Phoebe’s body to recover from the onslaught of drugs, energy levels to rise and her old sturdiness to return.  It’s hard to picture her with a full head of hair, good balance and strong muscles but we pray that in time all this will come.  Eyelashes and eyebrows would be good too! 

But through all that has happened to her Phoebe has been a great example to us of patience, endurance and confidence in God. It has been a real privilege for Marcus to spend time with her in isolation talking, reading her children's Bible and praying together. She has been such an encouragement to many.


Although we are confident that the worst is over now, we ask you please to continue to support the family in prayer as they go through the many adjustments that will be needed in the coming weeks.  We get used to one phase only to find we are entering another, and that pattern is bound to continue for quite a while.

Once again thank you for all your prayers!

A relatively good week

After the difficulties Phoebe suffered with the third round of chemo we wondered what might happen this time round. we are happy to report that this week Phoebe has coped well and remained relatively healthy.  

Last Saturday we were due to care for Phoebe while Rachel, Matt and Reuben went to a wedding; but Phoebe having had a bad night, wanted Matt to stay, and so Jen and Marcus went to the wedding service instead. However, we were pleased to get a text message partway through the service from Matt asking us to go to the hospital and take over from him; Phoebe was now willing to have us care for her.

Marcus spent Wednesday afternoon with Phoebe, and then Thursday late afternoon, evening and night with Phoebe. They got along well, reading, watching films, snuggling up, giving Phoebe a back scratch (which she loves, and distracts her from pain elsewhere). Phoebe retains her mischevious streak. On Friday morning Marcus went to get her breakfast, and as he was leaving she asked to look at the photos on his phone. Later in the day he found that she had added three more! Two of her room - and the 'selfie' below!

A selfie!

Today Rachel posted the following update in the '#PrayForPhoebe' Facebook group:

This week has been fairly uneventful - which is good! Phoebe's been in a fair amount of pain in her throat (due to chemo) and she is on regular doses of morphine which may need to be changed to a constant morphine drip if no improvement today. She is also struggling to keep fluids down today. 
Tomorrow is a significant day as it's the last dose of chemo for this cycle, and therefore the last dose altogether. We all can't wait to be rid of the awful nasty horrendous toxic poison that is chemo! Hopefully just another couple weeks in isolation for recovery and then we'll be outta here! 
Please pray for patience to endure - now that the end is in sight it almost feels harder than ever to be stuck within these 4 walls day in, day out, and we are all a little stir crazy! Thank you!

Jen continues to collect Reuben from nursery Monday to Friday and then has an enjoyably tiring afternoon with him. He is overjoyed to see mum or dad come home in the late afternoon, and they spend some time together before tea and bedtime. 

We continue to be heartened by your support. One friend has texted us every day since Phoebe's operation in February to remind us she is praying for us!

Fourth and final round of chemo

Today (Thursday) marks the start of Phoebe’s fourth and final round of chemo.  

Here is Rachel’s update:

"Last week's MRI results are in and we're relieved and delighted to know that it's all clear with no signs of any growth! Her hearing test was the same as the last one so no further damage has been done. But her kidney function has declined further to the point where it is no longer safe to use Cisplatin for this cycle of chemo - instead she'll be given Carboplatin which is less damaging to kidneys and hearing, but more damaging to bone marrow. This means she'll likely take longer to recover from this cycle, ie stay longer in isolation while blood counts are down and she has no immunity. It also means she'll need more platelet transfusions and blood transfusions, which have previously sometimes caused itchy rashes. Please pray for the patience to endure the next several weeks well! Thanks."

We are so grateful for all the wonderful support we’ve been receiving over the past months, and ask you to keep going with us until the treatment is complete.  We are all tired – physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually!  Phoebe continues to amaze us with her resilience and usually cheerful spirit but obviously this year has taken a terrible toll on her in every way.  Even though in many ways it feels that the end is in sight, it will be a long time before she has a healthy appetite and the energy she used to enjoy.

Matt is recovering well from hip surgery – another two weeks on crutches though!  Reuben is back at nursery on weekday mornings, and rugby on Saturdays.  He is happy enough with us, but often asks when Mummy or Daddy are coming home so it’s clear that he is really looking forward to life getting back to normal.

Last Sunday we were encouraged by the sermon at church from 2 Corinthians 1:3-11 on the subject of God's comfort. You can listen to it at www.thecrowdedhouse.org/project/gods-power-in-our-weakness/ 

We thank you again for all your prayers for Phoebe, Rachel, Matt & Reuben and ourselves.

Chemo cycle 3 completed

During the last week Marcus has been spending time with Phoebe in isolation. Matt had to be away in London having a hip operation and was not able to be with Phoebe, so Marcus was with Phoebe instead, so preventing a lot of extra pressure on Rachel. This was a special time and they played, read, watched videos, and made the following messages to put up at Phoebe's window when friends came to wave to her.

Phoebe also did some painting and had times of rest.

Painting - out of hand!

Sunday morning nap

We are more than glad to report the end of cycle 3 of chemo now that Phoebe’s blood count is up again and she is able to come home for a short break.  Phoebe is really looking forward to having the temporary lines in her neck removed today (Tuesday) and enjoying her first deep, splashy bath in months!  After being so terribly ill early in this cycle it is wonderful to see her doing relatively well, eating small snacks and cheerfully playing games, doing craft etc. She will have to return to hospital on Thursday to have a new Broviac line fitted, which is necessary for the fourth round of chemo.

Today she would normally be starting the new school year (in year one) and she is hoping to be able to visit the school before the final chemo cycle starts on Thursday 10^th September.

Matt had surgery on his hip last Friday and is now back home on crutches and painkillers!  

Jen has continued to spend much of her time with Reuben; he is looking forward to nursery restarting today and will be there for 3 hours each weekday morning.

The Lollars are looking forward to being all together for most of the coming week and then we all gear up for the last round of chemo in the hopes that it will go more smoothly than the third.

As Phoebe says, 'Thank you for praying'.

A week not to be repeated

A week ago we wrote about the beginning of Phoebe's third round of chemo, due to start on Thursday 13th. That morning we (Reuben, Rosanne and Marcus) called into see Phoebe and this is what we found. Phoebe eating a second breakfast which, after all her struggles with food, was surprising. We had a happy time together. At this point Phoebe was only receiving fluids and all was well.

The turn around in her condition in the next 72 hours was very worrying indeed, and it happened very quickly on Friday. By that night Phoebe was in Intensive Care (ICU) with an excessively high temperature. On Saturday morning she seemed to have improved but as the day progressed she worsened again, ending up sedated and on a ventilator until Sunday evening. This allowed time for her Broviac line to be removed (a possible cause of the infection) and other procedures to be done.

So Saturday night and Sunday was a very worrying time. Thankfully on Sunday evening Phoebe began to improve and on Monday morning she was moved back to her room on the Oncology ward. Marcus was able to see her briefly last night - she still looks tired and weary, but was eating an apple. Phoebe is now in isolation which will last for two or three weeks. What happens with the rest of this chemo cycle is not yet clear to us.

Yesterday Rachel wrote:
Phoebe has moved from ICU back on to her normal ward today as all her vitals are fine. She is dealing with very dry puffy rashy skin and diarrhoea, and is extremely tired and emotional following the weekend's ordeal. She's had her stem cells back and is now in isolation. At some point towards the end of this cycle she'll need surgery to put in a new Broviac line as the central line and cannulas are only a temporary fix. Because of the sepsis, she had to miss Saturday's dose of chemo, so please pray this isn't detrimental in the overall treatment of the cancer.

Once again we covet your prayers for Phoebe, Rachel, Matt & Reuben.


Again we have been surprised at how tired we feel due to the emotional energy expended at such times as this. We both feel very tired when we stop, so are amazed at how Rachel and Matt continue to cope so well through all the stress and emotion of this dreadful situation.  We are very thankful that Phoebe survived her terrible weekend and is stable again.


So it was good to be reminded this morning of these words from Isaiah 40:31: "but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." (NIV).
Please pray that we would continue to hope in the Lord.

Many thanks to all who pray, who write, who call and support us in various ways. And many thanks to the staff at Sheffield Children's Hospital. May God bless you all.

Worrying times

Phoebe commenced the third cycle of her chemotherapy treatment on Thursday (13th), receiving fluids in the morning and chemo drugs in the afternoon. We have been in to see Phoebe a few times with her cousin Rosanne and Reuben. On Thursday morning I took this photo of Phoebe tucking into a second breakfast. It has been good that, towards the end of the two week gap between chemo cycles, her interest in eating returned, such that she had put on a little weight.

However, within 36 hours Phoebe was very ill. Her temperature started rising on Friday afternoon, and when we left she was shivering feeling cold, but actually extremely hot. During the night her temperature continued to rise peaking at 40.4 deg C, and her pulse reached 180. After a number of failed attempts they finally managed to insert a new cannula, through which they could supply further medication. Thankfully during the night Rachel was able to get some sleep, and early this morning Rachel took over from Matt so he too could have some rest.

Marcus called into the hospital this morning to take Rachel some coffee and croissant and was able to see and talk with Phoebe. She is still very hot to the touch, but her temperature has dropped to 39.0. She still feels cold and wants a blanket, and is tearful that she has to remain uncovered. Thankfully she is talking clearly and when I arrived she was having a conversation with the nurse about Disney characters. I was able to give her kisses from Grandma, Grandma Sheri and Grandpa Bill.

This morning we were intending taking Rosanne to say cheerio to Phoebe; but as Phoebe is in ICU we cannot do this. Rosanne's visit has been lovely. As GrAVy (Great Auntie Valerie, Jen's sister) has said, Rosanne has been spreading her rays of sunshine among us all. She has played happily with Reuben and been a pleasure for Phoebe. It will be odd not having her around with us. 

Do please pray that Phoebe will continue to recover and will soon be well enough to leave ICU and return to her room on the Oncology ward. There is also the need for great wisdom in future decisions for Phoebe's treatment, but the medical staff and for Rachel and Matt. May God give them all much skill, wisdom and courage to make good decisions.
Thank you.

Round three is about to begin!

Phoebe has had a few extra days at home while waiting for biopsy results and decisions about the next round of chemo, which is now scheduled to start on Thursday (13^th).  

So she’s been able to spend more time with the family, and instead of waving out of the hospital window when Great Auntie Barbara was passing through Sheffield, they could chat and cuddle at home – so much better!

Phoebe was keen to stay overnight with us on Friday night but after a couple of hours asleep she woke up with very itchy legs, so we helped her stand in cold water for ten minutes. But then she did not settle, was upset and wanted to go home again.  So Rachel and Matt's undisturbed night did not happen as hoped.

Enjoying an ice cream!

On Saturday we looked after both children for a couple of hours to allow Rachel and Matt a much needed nap, and it was lovely to see Phoebe and Reuben together in Sheffield city centre, enjoying some fairground rides, ice creams and paddling in the fountains.

The best way to set out how you can pray for the family over the next few weeks is simply to repeat here Rachel’s post on Facebook on Monday 10^th:

It's hard to summarise everything we discussed with Phoebe's oncologist this morning! But here are the headlines...
- cycle 3 of high-dose chemo is delayed again until Thursday
- her rash is almost gone but not yet completely cleared from her feet
- skin biopsy didn't reveal anything conclusive about the cause of the rash
- kidney test revealed loss of kidney function and hearing test revealed loss of high-range hearing, but neither to a significantly damaging level to discontinue the use of cisplatin in the next cycle
- she is slightly anaemic
- her platelets are stable
In some ways we're disappointed not to be getting on with chemo today but in others we're thankful for a slightly longer reprieve at home, especially since Phoebe's interest in food has returned and she's managing to snack her way through the day. We need her to be in the strongest possible state physically before the next onslaught of chemo drugs. We're also hoping we can all catch up on some decent sleep the next few nights as last night was the first time in ages that she hasn't needed dunking in a cold bath to relieve itchiness!

Please pray for:
- Phoebe when the next cycle of chemo begins on Thursday. We expect that side effects will be worse and recovery time longer given that she starts from a weaker position each cycle.
- Reuben as he has to get used to being away from Phoebe again, and also away from us for longer periods of time.
- Matt having hip surgery in London on August 28th (and Rachel left holding the fort!)
- ongoing energy and strength for all of us, and for Rachel's parents who primarily care for Reuben.

About noon today we had a call from Matt saying that they were in a park near us and Phoebe wanted to have lunch with us. So a little later Rachel, Matt, Phoebe and Reuben all arrived for lunch around our dining table. Lovely! These family times are very precious as soon we will not be with Phoebe during the three weeks or so of isolation.

Tomorrow Jen and I will driving up to near Penrith to collect Rosanne, Phoebe and Reuben's cousin, who will be coming to stay for three nights. They are looking forward to spending time together. 

Thank you for your prayers and many kindnesses!

Home for Daddy’s special birthday!

Phoebe has had another few days at home at the end of the second chemo cycle.  In fact most days she has had one or another procedure in the hospital, but she is enjoying being based at home for a change, particularly on Sunday when she was able to be in church and then at Matt’s 30^th birthday celebration in the afternoon.  It was such a happy time and great to see the family together with good friends.

Phoebe has had a horrible itchy rash all over her body which is very uncomfortable and disturbs her sleep.  The doctors haven’t been able to work out its cause and today a little bit of skin was taken from her thigh for a biopsy.  She is having to get used to all sorts of prodding and poking, and carrying round the bag containing the liquids going through her nasal tube.

Last week Reuben enjoyed his holiday with Grandma and Grandpa, coping well with the long car journeys and being away from his parents, sister and dog!  He played well with second cousins (and their second cousins) at the family party in Surrey, and then with our friends’ granddaughters in Dorset.  He did have a mishap with a less-than-friendly dog which resulted in a swollen lip and grazed cheek so we made a visit to A&E as a precaution.  He was happy to be given a knitted teddy, some delicious antibiotics and advice to have ice lollies to get the swelling down!

Jen has appreciated some good advice from Cavendish Care (see previous post) and this morning a lovely relaxing massage there.  Meanwhile Matt has been in London seeing the surgeon who will operate on his hip at the end of the month.

We expect the third chemo cycle to start on Monday 10^th; please continue to hold Phoebe in your prayers as she takes on the next onslaught of drugs.

…the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall … (Matthew 7v25)

The second cycle of chemo was really horrible for the first week, but Phoebe is improving again now.  In the first few days her lovely face was so swollen that she could barely open her eyes; I thought my heart would break when I visited her last Sunday (isolation started on Monday) and Rachel and I took her to the park in her wheelchair.  The brass band music was too loud for her, her thighs were aching, she was too tired to complete her favourite activity in the museum (making a monster on the computer!) and we went back to her room so that she could have some painkillers.  She and Rachel lay on the bed and Phoebe was soon asleep.

If I as her grandma feel so sad about all this, just try to imagine the heartache for Rachel and Matt.  Although they are clinging on to the Lord, every day is very hard for them and I do ask those of you who pray, to keep on asking for the daily courage and trust they need to live through these days.  As Jesus’s story about the wise and foolish men reminds us, it is those who are hearing and living out his words who find their lives survive the storm.

This is Rachel’s update on Facebook today:

So the start of cycle 2 has been really rough, but at last I feel that Phoebe is herself again...enjoying colouring, stories, crafts, films etc. Yesterday she even managed a few minutes dancing! Tomorrow is another day of chemo drugs so please pray this doesn't knock her back too much, and then it's the slow road to recovery as we wait for her to gradually regain immunity. In this time please pray that she can begin to tolerate more food and that she wouldn't get any infections along the way. Thanks.

Reuben’s nursery has closed now for the summer holidays, so my days with him will start a little earlier from now on.  Grandpa is returning from Madagascar on Wednesday, and will be joining me in all our fun activities!  We are taking Reuben to a family party in Surrey soon, and then going on to spend a few days with buckets and spades at Weymouth, which is where all four Lollars were planning to be for their summer holiday, before we had any inkling what this year held in store.

Chemo round 2 and the bigger picture

Matt's Facebook update gives you an idea of the sorts of things they are
dealing with on a regular basis:

After 5 lovely days home we are back in hospital for Phoebe's second cycle
of chemo. Thank you all for messages, prayers and for respecting our wishes
to keep clear unless invited around.

A week ago today Phoebe had an MRI scan to check for tumours and the tumour
site for any growth and we are thrilled that everything looks perfect up to
now. Scans will be done regularly to monitor whether treatment is effective
or not. Each of these MRIs make us nervous as we wait to hear the results.
Should any growth occur at the former tumour site or any other brain tumours
develop, treatment options are virtually non-existent.

Please pray that Phoebe would get through this cycle of chemo as quickly as
the last, that the drugs' side effects would be minimal and their
effectiveness maximum!!

We've noticed Phoebe has become rather 'spaced out', struggling to
concentrate and less responsive than usual. This could be a side effect of
her anti-sickness drugs or a longer term effect of radiotherapy which can
permanently reduce cognitive functioning. Please pray we'd adapt our
expectations of her accordingly and remain patient.

Please continue to pray for us, Helen and Katie as we care for Phoebe during
this cycle, and also for for mum (Jen) as she cares for Reuben.
Big hugs y'all!

In-patient again

Today (Thursday) Phoebe has returned to Sheffield Children’s Hospital for the second cycle of chemo to begin.  I am back on duty with Reuben and Rachel and Matt will spend most of the day with Phoebe, taking it in turns to return home for tea and sleeping, and taking Reuben to nursery next morning.

It was very special to have Phoebe home for a few days, there were no medical problems apart from having to pop back to the hospital to have a new nasal tube fitted.  There was a continual refrain of “have a drink Phoebe”, and sometimes Reuben needed reminding why Phoebe is asked “what would you like to try eating?” while the rest of us eat what is put in front of us!

Rachel and I have both had preliminary appointments with Cavendish Cancer Care, a Sheffield based charity that supports cancer patients and their families.  They offer counselling, relaxation classes etc, and the client can choose (free of charge) what they feel will help.  As they have specialist help for children, I am hoping to be advised on how best to play and chat with Reuben to help him express his no doubt mixed emotions – confusion, fear, anger?

Having learnt (the hard way) while I was helping my sisters care for our elderly mother that I am not superwoman, I am seeking to be wise and not aiming to achieve much more than caring well for Reuben.  I was feeling rather defeated by our garden where the weeds are taking over, until kind friends in our church Life Group started doing some weeding – and even planted beetroot!  This has inspired me to do the occasional ten minutes myself and I feel less daunted now.

Thank you so much for following the blog and supporting us all with your prayers, I cannot tell you how much this means to us.

More rejoicing!

Today (Friday) is a special day! Phoebe has done so well recovering from her first cycle of chemo that she has been allowed to come home for a few days!  She will need to attend a couple of clinics on Monday and Tuesday but otherwise won’t be an inpatient again until Thursday (9th) when cycle #2 of chemo begins (unless she becomes unwell before then).
Thank you all so much for your prayers. We really do put this amazing recovery down to the Lord's kindness in answering the prayers of his children.

It's important to say Phoebe is still very weak and quite frail but her immunity is back and her platelet count is continuing to rise. This time at home will be very slow paced and relaxed. People are being asked to resist the temptation to drop in unless invited/arranged as we still want to limit the risks of her catching something from people, especially children!

What a joy it was this afternoon to sit under the garden umbrella with Phoebe and Reuben, our feet dangling in the paddling pool, reading a story and making sure we all had a sip of water each time a page was turned!  Her two school teachers called in too and it was lovely to see their obvious affection for Phoebe.


Wonderful though all this is, please do pray for Matt and Rachel who, without medical supervision, are responsible for Phoebe’s medication, nutrition and hydration.  They need continued wisdom too, in helping the children to manage the change in circumstances – it must seem that as soon as we get used to something, it changes and different dynamics ensue.  But we are so grateful to God for this oasis and pray that the four of them will have a very special time together.

Red Letter Day!

This morning (Saturday) I was surprised and delighted by a phone call from Matt to tell me that Phoebe was being allowed out for an hour to the park opposite the hospital.  I have never been so thrilled to spend an hour in a park!  The sun was shining and the five of us got an hour of near normality – Phoebe even fancied a few licks of Rachel’s ice cream!

Phoebe’s isolation room overlooks the road and the park, and during the week Reuben and I had waved to Phoebe and blown kisses up to her at the window, but I never expected to be able to hold her hand or give her a cuddle as we sat on the grass.  She looked so sweet, unselfconscious in her head-covering made out of an NHS pillow case!

Our main concern this week has continued to be the tiny amount of food she is consuming; even the liquid nutrients going through her nasal tube get vomited back up so that her body is receiving very little nutrition.  But her spirits remain amazingly bright and she keeps busy with drawing, craft and school work.  She has an hour a day with a teacher, and is also being sent work from her school to help her keep up with what the rest of her class is doing.



Meanwhile Reuben continues to enjoy his mornings at nursery, and our afternoons together have included picnic lunches in the garden, scooting, football, games of Memory (which he wins easily!), jigsaws and playing with Bramble the dog.

Blessings and challenges!

We are very touched by the imaginative ways that people are finding to encourage and support Phoebe and all of us.  A friend of our friends (ie someone we don’t know at all) has sent some books for Phoebe to enjoy; local friends have invited Reuben to come round to play; someone in our Life Group worked in our garden yesterday and replaced some of our many weeds with beetroot plants!  Matt’s brother-in-law’s parents drove to Sheffield from Cardiff bringing delicious cakes and cooked and shared a meal with us.  A dear friend from Guildford who was in Sheffield with her student daughter popped in for a cuppa on Sunday.  A supporter of the Good News Project in Mandritsara has sent a book he hopes will encourage Rachel and Matt.  These expressions of love and concern really do hearten us and give us the courage we need to live through these difficult days.

On Monday when Rachel got home from the hospital, Reuben greeted her with behaviour that appeared designed to “punish” her, the first time he’s shown any outward sign of feeling troubled by his unusual new life.  He is only 3 so doesn’t have the words to articulate his fears or confusion.  Please do pray for him, and for wisdom for me and his parents as we try to explain to him why things have to be as they are even though it’s not what we would choose.